A Piece of Grin

He had a piece of grin gripped tightly in his mouth

and wouldn’t let it go.

It was his hold on sanity to keep from

falling into the dark pit below.

Subawareness Matrix

Fell into wrong world

Skin not mine

Thought translator malfunctioning

Verbalizer desynchronized fibulations

 Flooded by fluency errors

Words stammering uncontrollably

Manifesting interface malfunction

Consciousness dimensional slicer out of tweak

You see it is not just a matter of doing or not doing

It is deeper than that

There is a basic subawareness interface corruption

or matrix error

I understand those who are mad

                They are Others like me

 perhaps

                                Lost in the wrong world or mind phase

i am not mad really, although it appears so even to myself

i am not on mushrooms or some drug or plant

i am simply try ing to make sense of that place between

unverbalizable subaware soul/self and my conscious mind and its interaction with the

manifested world

projections, maybe of a deeper disruption of awareness or selfness?

Throwing away the models and scaffolding of what is “real” in search of true freedom

from the limitations of my own beliefs in the solidity of world

How can I really change as long as I, “I” am ridgid and stone cast as the world I perceive around me.

I am ripe for change, always have been

                Simply never have found the right mold to pour into.

Like trying to fly in dreams, it takes so much concentration

just to function and appear to fit the accepted model.

I shall be my own mold, shapless and shiftingshapeness as cloudness

                Some souls perhaps are still not formed

                                or maybe never will be

perhaps be-ing is never to just be

Eye Paints

close your eyes

and in the darkness breathe

slowly and with resolve

draw deep the magical streams

which flow hidden and concealed

amongst the wasteland

of clamorous  thoughts

and endless should do’s

Breath in deep

that which was lost

to learnings

worldly meanings

and obligatory doings

Then exhale

BLOW away

all that which took

melt it away

with the enchanted

winds of

breathe

Draw in deeper still

the magical streams

of dreams

and whimsical

fairy dust

floating silently

rolling

within the creases

of air

Exhale ever so slowly

those streams of dreams

and mystical shades of tint

out through each

distinct flowing

eye lash

painting magic and splendiferous

back into a world

only just before

lost in madness

as you slowly and with resolve

open one

eye

and then

the other

and with each successive

blink

paint in

deeper and richer

more fanciful

colors

dancing in twinkles

trickles of

twinkles

dancing

naked

in the moonlight

of day

Dark Autumn

A dark and rotting world
filled with hungry
broken teeth.

Leaves which once were green
lifting skyward
basking in the warmth
brilliance of sunbeams.

Now lifeless and fallen
lying in the shadows of worms
feasting on the dead and dying.

Is but the turning of the season,
preparations for a new spring’s promise
whispering softly
over the distant horizon.

But ears are deaf
eyes blinded by greed
and wanting more
taste and smell of sweetness
drown in putrefaction
as bleeding hands claw through
shards of broken glass towers
reaching for a way out
of a world we assumed
dominion over.