Even in the darkest moments of our lives, there lie hidden, often far from sight, cracks in the darkness, openings to joy and light.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Twenty Five Books
I read a Blog with a challenge, to create a list of 25 books that describe your personality (or personalities, since many parts of who I am seem to be in a state of confliction). The list shouldn't necessarily be of your favorite books (although they may apply), but rather a list of books that, if read in their entirety, would describe the essence of your personality(s) and worldview. Here is my first cut at my 25. I’ve included a brief explanation or comments on my choices. I challenge you to do the same.
1. The Dream of Being by Jack Haas. - Many of these speak something from inside that I couldn’t put into words.
2. Collected Poems by Sylvia Plath - Because there is often a darkness which seems to engulf me for a time before I am catapulted into the light again only to fall back into the abyss and the whole cycle repeats. Quietly of course, inside my private world.
3. Collected Poems by Robert Graves - So many of these are songs from my own soul.
4. Swallowed by Darkness by Anna M Williams - Same a # 2. I know the darkness well and often call it home.
5. My Secret is SILENCE, Poetry and sayings by Adyashanti - Yes, there is also peace, silence and bliss; in the quietness of the moment.
1. The Fountain by Darren Aronofsky - Some experiences seem to transcend time and I understand much of the main character through my own experiences.
2. The More Than Complete Hitchhiker’s Guide by Douglas Adams - Absurd yes but, so are many of my own thoughts, comments and sense of humor. LOL
3. Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes - Is this my life’s story? It often feels that way but, I can be no other that who I dream myself to be.
4. The Bridge Across Forever by Richard Bach - Still searching, perhaps I am just in the wrong world. LOL
5. Seth Speaks by Jane Roberts - Opened up an understanding of the multidimensionality of who I am from reading the whole series.
1. The Outsider by Colin Wilson - Because I am and have always known myself to be an outsider.
2. The Way of Wonder by Jack Haas - Wonder is the magic that is life and joy, everything else is illusion.
3. The Selected Writings of Ralph Waldo Emerson - “Standing on the bare ground, - my head bathed by the blithe air, & uplifted into infinite space, - all mean egotism vanishes. I became a Transparent Eyeball!” I still remember these words from 8th grade English and even to this day I still sometimes know what it is to become a transparent eyeball.
4. The Nature Writings of Henry David Thoreau - In nature is the only place I feel even remotely at home.
5. Oration on the Dignity of Man by Giovanni Pico Della Mirandola - Even as losers our dignity as divine beings can never be taken away. We grow stronger with our losses than from our winning.
6. Radical Ecstasy by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy - Because ecstasy is often found on the fringes, never in the vanilla world, at least for me. LOL
7. Kindling the Celtic Spirit by Mara Freeman - Because my soul and spirit have deep Celtic roots and this kindles my spirit.
8. The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle - There is nothing else but now.
9. All and Everything, a trilogy by G. I. Gurdjieff - Gurdjieff’s 4th way resonated deeply with my being.
10. When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron - Because they too often do and they just are what they are, we make the meaning and the stories of them that fill our memories and often masquerade as now.
11. Total Freedom by J. Krishnamurti - Question everything, even your own questions and intentions. When you finally run your minds batteries run down, then you see.
12. The Mist-Filled Path by Frank MacEowen - Again my Celtic spiritual roots. This one is subtitled “Celtic Wisdom for Exiles, Wanderers, and Seekers” and yes I am.
13. Henry Miller on Writing, selections by Thomas H. Moore - Be who you are and give finger to anyone who feels you aren’t what they feel you should be.
14. The Book, On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are by Alan Watts - A taboo which always gets in the way of life’s purpose. Knowing it is there, is the first step.
15. The Wisdom of Insecurity by Alan Watts - Like listening to the silence behind the noise, there is wisdom and joy with being with what is, this moment.
I have always been a searcher, looking for the Holy Grail, philosopher’s stone or ovum anguinum; searching for some hidden secret hidden knowledge which would transform my being into something more worthy than I felt it to be.
I searched, spent years of study of Quantum Mechanics, Physics, Cosmology, and Microbiology. I searched the esoteric writings of enlightened eastern, western mystics and established religions, all to no avail. The truth I sought, was not to be found in this world or the next, it was not anything which could be grasp, held in my hand or given to another.
The closest I have come to seeing truth was to gaze into the eyes of a new born babe. It is this innocent wonder, the light of the Divine Mystery shining out from the soul; which is love, life, and truth.
This Holy Grail is found within, if only I dare to look through the darkness which cloaks it so well and walk quietly, patiently, waiting for those rare moments when the dark clouds part and the light shines, warming the empty coldness which so often engulfs me.